As I reflect on the year that has been,
I have so much to say,
Early on in the year in January,
I lost my big brother in a car accident,
And that took its toll on me,
More than any of you will ever know,
More than I’ll ever show,
See my biggest fear growing up wasn’t snakes or monsters in the shadows,
It was losing those I loved,
Losing my brother hit me really hard,
Even now almost a year after,
I still feel the grief,
When I see a funny meme I know he’d have loved,
Or when I have a funny story I know he’d have laughed at,
I feel the empty space in my heart,
Maybe if I had faith,
I’d have hope that I’d see him again one day,
All I have now is the memories we shared,
And at least I know those will never die.



  1. Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there, I do not sleep
    I am a thousand winds that blow
    I am the diamonds glints in the snow
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain
    I am the gentle autumn rain
    When you awaking in the morning hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight
    I am the soft star that shines at night
    Do not stand by my grave and cry
    I am not there, I did not die
    (Mary Elizabeth Frye)


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